An Empty Plate

Today I want to touch on something that held me back for a long time: Restriction. This word used to embody power, control, and drive for me... man I was so wrong. When I began to feel myself "slip", I looked for control and I thought I had found it. I found it through sucking the joy and fulfillment out of food, social events, and myself.

I insert here a picture of an empty plate. One that I had polished after a balanced, fulfilling, and happy meal. At this moment this plate brings me blessings and happiness but back when the restriction was my key, I would have felt defeated by this empty plate. I would have felt like I failed myself and lost control.

Shrinking your appetite

I became obsessed with restriction, I wanted to push it further, restrict more and more until I needed the bare minimum. For then, I would be in complete control. I was wrong. I had lost control and became depleted, lethargic, and just well, sad. Whether it be at my favourite restaurant or family gathering, I made sure I did not finish my food. My justification behind this was that I was "satisfied". I told myself this so many times that I began to believe it. I believed it so much that food became meaningless and I became honestly, lame.

Self Control

The times in my life where my idea of self-control became distorted were hard to undo. Through this, my fear of losing control consumed me. If I were to explain self-control to you in this state of mind, I would have told you to “eat until you were satisfied”, “always leave something in your plate”, or “ split your meals up into multiple portions”. I was uneducated, super susceptible to body negativity, and just flat out wrong.

Overeating

I know it can be easy to think that you are "overeating" and feel weak but a bad perspective does this to us. All of us. Maybe you just appreciate the food in front of you, or perhaps it's a special occasion. I want to make sure that I never fall back into this false belief that control is centered around food. It is important to maintain BALANCE in your lifestyle but that does not mean you must stay composed 100% of the time. Inconsistency is not a flaw and being INTUITIVE is a beautiful thing. If you are more hungry one day opposed to the other, congrats, you're human. Continue to feed into what your body craves because cravings are a sign of what we need.

Food waste

This distorted idea of restriction goes completely against what I believe in and intuitive eating as well as sustainability. We are privileged to eat the way we do, to have food sovereignty, and resources. Restriction can become a form of being ungrateful and unproductive.

I am so much happier now that I listen to my body. Whether it be indulging at my favourite restaurant with a friend, taking over the dessert table at a family function, or simply eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's Ice cream in my bed while watching Netflix... I polish my meals and respond with Gratitude.