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The Pressure of Finding Your WHY

Your “Why” is a statement of purpose that describes why you do the work you do and why you live the lifestyle you do. It is your calling. It is your conviction. It is your mission statement. It is a vision of your life and work.

In the past 5 years, I have constantly been met with questions and thoughts about my “Why”. This process gave me a sense of anxiety and rush. It made me feel as though I was lost and lacked purpose. It was when I began to explore my “Why” rather than question it, that I began to truly feel fulfilled

Photo by Nina Burgstaller

Do You Know Your "Why?" 4 Questions To Find Your Purpose

Humans are amongst the most complex creatures on this earth. Rather than just living and survival, most humans crave purpose. German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said, ‘He who has a why can endure any how.’ Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to achieve the goals that excite you and create a life you enjoy living (versus merely surviving!). When you know your ‘why’ will you find direction and the courage to take the risks needed to get ahead, stay motivated when the odds are against you, and move your life onto an entirely new, more challenging, and more rewarding trajectory.

While there’s no simple equation for discovering your life's purpose, there are many ways you can gain deeper insight into yourself, and a larger perspective on what it is that you have to offer the world. For this, I like to do shadow work and practice positive self-talk to delve into the intersection of my talents, skills/expertise, passions and deepest values.

1. What makes you come alive?

The word inspire comes from the Latin, meaning “to breathe life into.” Accordingly, when you are working toward things that inspire you, it literally makes you feel more alive. What makes you come alive isn’t referring to taking your dream vacation or watching your favourite artist perform in concert. It’s bigger than that. I’m talking about a why that moves up the circle of life from being about you to being about something bigger than you. It’s about connecting with what you’re passionate about, knowing that when you focus your attention on endeavours that put a fire in your belly, you grow your impact and influence in ways that nothing else can. I like to think my why revolves around my dreams and passions as a South Asian model. I desire to create an impact in this industry and inspire others like me to do the same.m

You don’t have to declare at this point that you want to be the next Oprah, solve the world’s environmental problems or cure cancer (though you might!). This is about you connecting to a purpose that’s bigger than you are, but which is also aligned with who you are and what you care about.

2. What are your innate strengths?

In The Element, Sir Ken Robinson says that “our element is the point at which natural talent and skill meets personal passion.” When people are in their element they are not only more productive, but they add more value and enjoy more personal and professional fulfilment. Accordingly, it’s also often where they also tend to make more money! I call this - Passion for profit.

What are the things you’ve always been good at (sometimes wondering why others find it so hard?) Are you able to see patterns and opportunities amidst complexity? Are you creative, and naturally adept at coming up with ‘outside the box’ solutions? Are you a natural-born rebel with an innate ability to identify where the status quo is in need of a makeover? Are you brilliant in the details, naturally good at executing projects with a precision that some find tedious? Or are you a naturally gifted communicator, technocrat, diplomat, networker, leader, problem solver or change agent? For fun, you could even take the Myers & Briggs Test to see what your personality type is and follow up with suggested professions.

Of course, you can also be passionate about things you have no natural talent for, and talented at things for which you hold little passion. However, experience has shown me that we rarely aspire toward ambitions we have no natural talent to achieve. As civil rights leader Howard Thurmon once wrote, “Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive, then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Indeed they do.

3. Where do you add the greatest value?

Doing work that you’re good at, but which you loathe, is not a pathway to fulfilment. That said, knowing your greatest strengths and where you can add the most value—through the application of your education, skills, knowledge and experience—can help you focus on the opportunities, roles and career paths where you are most likely to succeed and therefore find the greatest sense of accomplishment and contribution.

Too often we undervalue our strengths, skills and the expertise we naturally acquire over time. If you reframe the concept of adding value through the lens of solving problems, you can ask yourself what you’re well placed and equipped to help solve in your workplace, career, organization or industry. You can also ask yourself what problems you really enjoy solving, and what problems you feel passionate about trying to solve. You’ll then be more successful at focusing on your natural strengths and those things you’re innately good at than trying to bolster or eliminate your weaknesses.

4. How will you measure your life?

People who don’t stand for something can easily fall for anything. Deciding how you want to measure your life means making a stand for something and then living your life in alignment with it.

Ultimately, living with purpose means focusing on the things that matter most. Ironically, the things that matter most are rarely “things.” That said, while some people are in a position to trade the security of a regular salary in order to pursue a passion, many simply can’t—at least not in the short term or without violating core values (like paying off debt or providing for their family). But following the money and following your heart don’t have to be mutually exclusive. By shifting the lens through which you view what you are doing now, you can profoundly shift your experience of it. No matter what your job is, you can draw meaning from it and find greater purpose through how you do what you do. If you don’t think you’re the kind of person you’d want to work with, then consider that it may not be because of the job you do each day, but your attitude toward it.

Knowing your purpose may compel you to take on challenges that will stretch you as much as they inspire you. Just as a boat under power can handle any size wave if perpendicular to it when you’re powered by a clear purpose, there is little you cannot do.

I also want to note that it is OKAY for your why to change, shift, and alter. I have always stayed true to my core values but my passions and path have changed throughout the path of life. I never really knew that I would be able to share my voice within the modelling industry but I did always know I wanted to do it in an extraordinary way. I found it useful to idolize strong women of colour. Women such as Oprah, Michelle Obama, Rupi Kaur, and Malala Yousafzai. I took my fire and used it inany space I entered. I began with sport, then altered it within my role in university, my position in a law firm, and ultimately struck gold with the modelling industry. I am sure that this transformation will continue and maybe one day my why will adjust to a family, kids, and whatever else life blesses me with.

Finding your why should not be a source of anxiety but rather a search for a deeper purpose, one that is exciting and inspiring. Have fun with it and lean into your needs🤍