Brown Girl in New York City
Ah, New York City, the big apple, the city that never sleeps, the city of dreams, if you may… I grew up fixated on the idea of New York City and the ways in which it embodies dreams and aspirations. The streets are filled with creatives, businessmen, fashion, culture, and yes, of course, models. Now growing up, I never really knew I would become a model but I did know one thing for sure, and that was that, someway, somehow… I would end up in NYC chasing some kind of dream of mine. Whether it be momentarily or forever, I knew that NYC was inevitable for me.
Growing Up
Growing up as a second-generation Indo-Canadian, I lived a very privileged and free life. I was supported by my parents, obtained a prestigious education, while never having to worry about work. My mother’s reality was very different. She immigrated from India at a young age and could not even imagine the extent of privilege that I was born into, rather imagine having kids of her own. She gave me the world and built it for herself simultaneously. My Father’s journey was quite similar, he worked at the lumber mill in a small town, while my Mother pursued a career in accounting in the city. Their dream was to have children, and they did just that. After years of trying, failing, and trying again, my parents finally had twins! My brother and I grew up polar opposites. He rode the wave of life while I pushed boundaries, worked my a** off, and continuously asked myself “what is my purpose in life”?
In some ways, I wish I was more like my brother, and in some ways not. He inspires me to not take life so seriously but he also frustrates me further to push for my far reached dreams. The dreams that no one believes I will soon reach. It is safe to say, we balance each other out.
Growing up I was constantly told that I had a “vivid imagination,” people would say that I made up elaborate stories, ideas, and scenarios… I would argue that this was not me imagining, this was me dreaming, manifesting, and constructing a future. I would tell people I would be the next Rihanna, Beyonce, Tyra Banks if you may. I had no self-doubt and I led a very relentless spirit. This “vivid imagination” soon left my soul as I grew older and society taught me to be “realistic”. I took the traditional route, got amazing grades, thrived in my sport, and graduated from university with honours. Thankfully, my “vivid imagination” still lingered inside me. Not only did I feel a lack of fulfillment, but I felt like there had to be something more. I don’t mean to sound cliche, but I feel like I have always known this. I have always known that I am meant to do extraordinary things. I knew this because I was born with much different cards than my parents and ancestors to play with and therefore I would live my spirit to the highest capacity. I want to use my privilege, my education, my dreams to promote all that I have learned and stand for: Inclusion, diversity, representation, self love, fulfillment, and ultimate happiness. I found something that would allow me to do this.
Modelling
Now growing up tall and lanky, people will ask you one of two things, “are you a model?” or “are you a basketball player”. I chose basketball player for most of my life. But, why not both? After trialing and failing with modelling, I decided to give it third chance when I was 19. 16 year old me hated the idea of modelling, walking in heels, waiting for people to choose me, and showing my body. 19 year old me saw fire and opportunity in this realm. I had grown into myself and my confidence and was ready to hit the world/runway of course.
Now that I have decided to model full-time, I am beginning to see the change I have the power to make in my community. I am able to follow my dreams, inspire, and represent the women before and ahead of me. I want brown girls everywhere to know that this space is for us too. Brown girls can be models, dreamers, and icons. I make it my mission to live boldly and I have seen nothing but empowerment from this process and mindset. It was when I finally saw how modelling could be my vessel to do this, that I became filled with the desire to succeed in this realm.
What is success in the modelling industry you ask? It is quite a limitless space. One where you can be a lifestyle, commercial, runway/print model or all of the above! One where you can get signed with agencies all around the world, or just reside in one market. However, all models collide somewhere. I like to think that somewhere is New York. Now New York is essentially an end destination. I like to think that many models take their careers abroad to places like London, Milan, Paris, Greece, Australia….
I do plan to grace multiple cities, countries, and continents with my energy but New York hit me differently. The ability to practice my art in the melting pot of culture, the epicenter of dreams, was more than liberating. These past two years, this pandemic… has taught me to live life on the edge. I do this by being mobile, and spontaneous. I love to just get up and go when I can. Whether that be to my favourite cafe or a whole other city. It is up to you to practice your privilege and live so bold!
My advice
Dear brown girls, or anyone else who is afraid to fly… your 20’s are a precious time. Don’t get caught up in the nonessential motions of life. Don’t get stuck on a path that you don’t enjoy. And definitely don’t get caught up in monetary success. Instead, travel, do what your heart desires, and see what the world has to offer, especially if you have the means. Deepak Chopra says”
“Every possibility holds the promise of abundance. Affluence includes money but is not just money. It is the abundance, the flow, the generosity of the universe, where every desire we have must come true, because inherent in having the desire are the mechanics for its fulfillment.”
So I suggest you manifest abundance into your life and follow your heart. Don’t worry about the top, instead climb every step and take it in with your eyes wide open. Digest every city, situation, and moment.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to - This applies to family, friends, work, money, and relationships.
Don’t be afraid to go after what you want - Even if it scares you!
Go with your gut.
Have hobbies and try something new.
Don’t obsess over the way you look and are perceived.
Cut out overly possessive and jealous people.
Surround yourself with people who will push you towards your goals.
Don't choose your boyfriend over your friends.
Fly.
Call your mom.
As I set out to live my best individual life, I plan to do this all. I plan to continue to carry home within my heart and follow my deepest dreams and desires. I will do so selfishly and with purpose, because that is just what 20’s are. Your selfish and chaotic years. The years my mother will never get back and the years I get to live through right here, right now.
