Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable [Growth Mindset]

It has been two months since I packed up my life and moved to London. I made this decision 2 weeks before my departure and did not look back. It was extremely terrifying and vulnerable for me. However, I knew it was right. As a person who is super in tune with their intuition and gut feelings, I tell myself that is how I justify these crazy decisions and moments. I also want to note that I made this decision amidst a pandemic. COVID-19 truly changed my outlook on life and opportunities and I never want to take that for granted. Now if that makes me selfish or irresponsible, so be it. I told myself that this was my time. My time to be reckless and do everything that I desired.

So I packed up my bags. Emailed multiple agencies and set out to London with no real plan. All I knew was that I envied the modelling industry out there and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. I knew that London embodied all that I was fighting for: Diversity, inclusion, fashion, and opportunities.

The reality is that life is not so black and white. Especially when it comes to making decisions that push you past your threshold. I became increasingly aware of this when I began first-year university. Life switched from certainty to having to adjust to every moment of adversity and failure. My path constantly changed and I found myself dealing with issues such as feelings of depression, an eating disorder, and heartbreak, and I never stopped questioning myself, who I was, and who I was going to be. Because of this, I strived for success but prepared myself for failure. I knew that I could be heading to London with no real promises and no real representation. I gave myself two goals. One was to sign to an agency and two was to walk in London fashion week which was happening in two weeks so I was cutting it a bit close.

Now you have to be super mindful of your personality type as well. I personally gravitate towards being very Type-A. I latch on to having a plan and I find comfort in telling people what I am going to do and how I am going to get there. I did this in university, in sports, and in every other facet of my life. This time I told everyone that I was going to London to model and I confessed that I had no real plan. Some commended me for it and some thought I was plain naive.

Editorial shot in West Minister, London [Published in SELIN Magazine]

Life In London // The UPS and DOWNS

When I first moved to London, I felt like a fish out of water. Much like what I felt when I moved from Toronto. This time was different. I had moved to an entirely new continent with an entirely different culture. My first week here was spent navigating the tubes, and trains, and learning the social cues. Although it was exhilarating and new… It was also vulnerable and terrifying. I feared failure and loneliness.

That is how I knew, I was testing myself. Instead of letting these feelings consume me, I set goals. I set the goal of signing to a model agency here, quitting my 9-5 job, and I aimed to find my place whether it be within people or places. I wanted to decipher which area resonated with me most (to live), who I wanted to surround myself with and who I wanted to be.

A new place will do that. It will make you question yourself, your place in society, where you fit in, and where you don’t. Essentially, it is the quickest way to cut the bulls***.

My First Week / Will I make it?

My first week here, I isolated at my relatives home outside of London and prepared for my first agency meeting. This meeting came with a warning as I had been jet-lagged, bloated, and emotional. It was also just my luck that this was the agency that I “fancied” most. My cousin ensured me that he would drive me to this meeting since I had not yet learned how to navigate the tube system here so I kindly accepted.
Fast forward to the morning of my first agency meeting. My cousin and I left late, which was already unacceptable as being punctual is essential within the modelling industry… I counted my luck and did my breathing/anxiety relief routine and then, just as I found my breath, his car slowly stopped moving and defaulted along the way. I was already late and found myself on the side of the road in a country that I had never been in before, scrambling to find an uber that could drive me there so I could perhaps build my case, even though I was 1.5 hours late. The uber took me through some sketchy backroad in the countryside and I struggled to contain my anxiety. Mostly, I was discouraged and afraid that I had blown my shot. Those thoughts of failure came flooding back. I had flown across the world, processed my work visa, and experienced the utmost discomfort to what? Show up to my dreams late? The toxic thoughts continued.

Make yourself stand out

I arrived outside of the agency door, gathered myself, told myself my worth, and walked in with confidence and light. I emphasized why I was here and what I deserved. All my passion for being an Indian woman in this industry to bring **diversity, inclusion, and advocacy** made me a light. I felt my fire and I knew I could translate it at that moment. I was met with kindness and enthusiasm immediately. The woman who greeted me was actually another brown woman and I immediately felt at ease. Not because of the colour of her skin or her gender, but because right away, I knew she understood. We both fought to find a place in this industry and I acknowledged the invisible feelings of wanting each other to hold space and thrive. I felt inspired and supported.
I was then asked to take pictures, slate myself, and educated on the agency(this typically only happens when they are interested in you). Despite my chaotic arrival, I left feeling like a breath of fresh air. I continued to keep that energy for the rest of my meetings. I eventually learned the ways of transiting in and out of London and left the week with 3 offers from 3 great agencies.
Throughout the week I really grounded myself and kept in touch with my intuition. I have always been big on “gut feelings” so that is what I stuck true to. I analyzed which agencies felt as if they were ecstatic about me and I took note of who kept in touch. Yes, I had moved across the world for this with absolutely no plan but that did not mean that I did not want to articulate my decision.
The first agency I met with may have been the most chaotic and unprepared but somehow, it was the one that left the biggest impact on my heart. The main agent continued to email me, check-in, and expressed that he knew I was meeting with other agencies. He never showed a lack of respect and ensured me that they were awaiting my response. And that is how I knew…

They signed me.

Within my first week in London, I signed with one of the biggest agencies and I was immediately added to the London Fashion Week 2022 show package. Now some people would say that I did the impossible. Typically an agency signs you, develops you, puts you on their new faces board, and waits for their clients to get used to you… I however was placed on the mainboard and promoted for London Fashion Week. I felt extremely grateful but I knew I deserved this. In every single meeting. I communicated that I want to, and I will walk in LFW 2022. Most agents responded with enthusiasm while one simply looked at me with doubt and expressed that I did not have enough experience. The reality is that people will doubt you no matter what. This is why it is pivotal for yourself and your grit for you to believe that you can do anything you put your mind to. I believe that work ethic is more valuable than anything. My willingness to get my own work visa, fly out, and meet agencies on my own alone should prove something and someone who chooses to represent me will know that. BMA understood that and my decision was clear.

Taking yourself out of your comfort zone will MAKE you grow

If I had not stepped outside my comfort zone. One that I had become accustomed to because of the pandemic... I would have never signed to an agency in London, walked London Fashion Week, and lived my spirit. Yes, it was extremely triggering but it also had the most beautiful moments. Intentionally leaving the comfort zone goes hand-in-hand with developing a growth mindset. While the fixed mindset keeps us trapped by fear of failure, the growth mindset expands the possibility. It inspires us to learn and take healthy risks, leading to positive outcomes across life domains.

Moving has opened my eyes up to new experiences, people, cultures, and spaces

I was blessed to be a part of a London Fashion Week that was more inclusive, diverse, and beautiful as ever. This experience embodied what I want to come out of this industry. I will not stop pushing for what I deserve and what I wish to see out of this industry. Wherever I am. Wherever I end up. The world is endless and the opportunities are banging.

FOLKLORE MAGAZINE

“This year’s London Fashion Week brought out an array of guests to take in the new collections from over a hundred designers including exciting emerging Black talents such as Feben (@its.febs), Ahluwalia (@ahluwalia) as well as established brands like Duro Olowu (@duroolowu) and Dumebi (@atelier_dumebi)
The designers played with textures and patterns, sending down collections with ruffles, floral prints and stripes rendered in bold colors and rich fabrics. With inspirations ranging from Nollywood and Bollywood films to jazz music, each designer showcased their unique perspectives and delivered moods that were altogether slick and joyful.”

Because I chose to move, I was able to do this all within the span of 3 weeks. I grazed multiple big publications, walked not only one, but three London Fashion Week shows, and signed to an agency. Don’t ever let anyone tell you your insane for wanting to make a big move. Keep that growth mindset and push yourself out of your comfort zone now!

MOVING SUCKS

In the move, your brain lost its working map of your life, and you have to start from square one and make a new one. And it's hard. That loss of familiarity is what makes moving so stressful and traumatic. This is also what helps you grow and redefine. Think of it as a clean slate and allow yourself to grow through it. Don’t be hard on yourself and accept human emotions.

CULTURE IS EXPERIENCE

Culture is a lived experience in the sense that it is the source of living Culture. When you enter new spaces and places, you find different foods, expressions, and people. This is overwhelming and beautiful and you must remember that you also bring your own culture along with you. Do not assimilate, rather stay open. The main cultural experience definition is the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group or country. In this context you will learn to appreciate the various cultures we have in different parts of the world.

TRUST YOUR PATH

I used to want to control all aspects of my life. What was next, where I was going to go next and how I was going to do it. Now I have learned the brilliance of taking things in stride. Setting mountain top goals and enjoying the little landmarks along the way. When you essentially surrender to your path and follow your heart, you never know where you will end up. Mine brought me to London and I trust it.

BEAUTY IN BEING PATHLESS

There is beauty in changing your mind too. Let’s say you planned on being in Law school and now you are a full-time model. Paths change and that is okay. If you take this as a failure, you are not embodying a growth mindset at all. Being pathless to me is essentially being ruthless. I took the traditional path for so long that I became a robot. I thought
that if I stayed on trek that I would succeed and not disappoint anyone along the way. In turn, I may have ended disappointing myself. The only path I desire to be on is my own.

Now if London Is your next move

Benefits of living in London // The number of new arrivals in London each year and the ripe climate for businesses in the city are proof of the many benefits on offer. Whether you've just got a new job in the city, you're studying at a London university or you just fancy some excitement, London has a lot for the taking. Especially if you are a model or creative. The industry here is as diverse, inclusive, and booming as ever. It is beautiful and inspiring. Feel free to message me or email me regarding your questions and to elaborate on where you should head next.