Tips for Living Alone in a New City
Moving somewhere new can be a very difficult, isolating, and eye-opening experience. Surviving alone in a new city requires you to be resourceful and emotionally resilient. It can be difficult living in a new city especially if it’s your first time away from home, your family, or school. However, these experiences are crucial for growing as an adult and beginning to build a life for yourself. As an International model, I live a life of new beginnings. It never gets easier, but I gain new tools in every city that I find myself in. Throughout this process, I have learned the value of real relationships, quality time, as well as what I like and what I don’t like.
If you are moving to a new city or even just thinking about it following these tips can help you make the most of this new chapter of your life:
Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone
Thankfully, London and New York City have been excellent places to combat the loneliness of living alone. Not only are you surrounded by unlimited social options from around the world, but these cities embrace the idea of being happy alone. Locals go out to eat by themselves, go out for drinks by themselves, and go on adventures by themselves, and it isn’t looked down upon or judged like in other places. I truly believe that taking yourself on a solo date once in a while is a super insightful and rejuvenating thing to do, especially in a big city. The first day I moved to London, I took myself to what is one of my favourite Mexican restaurants and the chef ended up sending me multiple courses, drinks, and desserts for free. Through that experience, I got to experience the culture and kindness of the city and even made a good friend. I remember walking home that night and knowing that I was going to be okay, if not blessed, in a new city on my own.
Find Your People
If you are anything like me and find yourself needing more human interaction, it is more difficult to feel lonely when you’re constantly surrounded by so many people that are chasing the same dream you are. This is where I believe you should build a community within a group of people who have the same goals as you or will push you towards these goals. I personally looked to creatives, models, bloggers, actors etc. in the Fashion Industry since I moved to London to pursue my full-time career as a model. London actually had a lot of opportunities to meet such people. There are groups, meetups, and social activities surrounding any type of interest you can imagine, whether you’re looking for a gym buddy or a book club. I met some of my best friends through a Fashion Collective and we went out for dinners and parties 3-5 times a week. Not only did I feel more motivated and inspired but I also had the wonderful opportunity to network with brands, designers, and agencies. If I had never done this or moved to London, I would have never met the people I call sisters now.
Make Your New Place Home
Before you embark on your journey, make sure to visit your friends or relatives to let them know you’re moving, and welcome them to your new place. It doesn’t have to be a goodbye, it’s a see you later. This helped me cope the most. The reality is, I find home in people so when I feel like I am saying goodbye, it eats me up inside. Instead, I celebrate new beginnings and look forward to seeing them again. Inviting them to your new place will also give you something to look forward to if you’re feeling homesick or lonely. On top of that, I took the initiative to fill my new space with things that make me feel at home. It could be the smallest things like my favourite tea, dark chocolate, and coffee. I also like to have a cozy lounge outfit and all the things that make my routine feel normal such as my planner, journal, and skincare essentials.
Plan Properly
Before moving out to a new city, always make sure to do proper research and planning. I am not the best at this as I am usually enjoying the last of the city that I am moving from but it is always useful to have a general idea of what your life will look like on the other end. Moving to a place like New York City without a plan will add unnecessary stress to your journey, so start planning by creating a moving day checklist. I like to check off my essentials, and day-to-day needs like a gym, a grocery store, distance from work, and even social life etc. Now I kind of threw myself in the fire when I moved to London and found this through word of mouth, daily walks, and trial and error. You can do this too but it may cause you a bit more stress than relief if you tend to be a Type A person like myself.
Don’t Hide Your Emotions
Feeling lonely? Does this move have you feel like crying out loud? Go ahead and do it! Stress levels and emotions are likely to be elevated during this significant transition of your life. Emotions are completely natural, so don’t try to shut them out and pretend everything is ok if you feel sad. Allow yourself to feel the emotion of sadness fully. Like everything, these feelings will pass, and expressing them fully will make it easier to move on from the emotions in a positive direction. Don’t feel stuck either. Know that you can always FaceTime your Best Friend or Mom and let it all out. Also, be sure to check out our tips for reducing stress to find some mental equanimity in this chaotic phase of life. Emotional awareness will be one of your greatest tools for moving, especially if you are doing it alone.
Explore Your New City
Go out alone and explore your new city. There are endless restaurants, bars, lounges, museums, galleries, and shopping centers where you can get a unique feel for the environment you live in. You will actually be surprised how many of these spots will become your go-tos a few months down the road. These are also excellent opportunities to put yourself out there and meet new people. By exploring the city and attractions that interest you, you’re naturally setting yourself up to meet people with similar interests along your route. I met one of my good friends while searching for a post-workout smoothie near my gym, she ended up being the owner and became a part of my daily routine ever since.
Don’t Compare Your New Life to Your Past
With a new city comes a new you, a reinvention. This is not only important when moving to a new city, but dealing with life in general. When we have wonderful experiences we tend to get attached to them. Don’t get overly attached to how your old life was. Everything going forward is a totally new and unique experience in life, as it is impossible to replicate experiences once they have occurred. Go through this crazy journey flowing with the changes instead of overthinking them. I became my best self when I allowed myself to change and try new things such as new hobbies, a new routine, and not being so strict with myself.
Keep In Touch
Just because you move to a new place, does not mean you disappear. Calling home to family or friends is a really great way of relieving some of the anxiety and loneliness associated with moving away. However, you want to be sure to keep the contact moderate. If you’re spending all of your time alone in your apartment on the phone with people, you’re spending less time putting yourself out there. Increase your chances of making a new, meaningful connection by opening yourself up to new interactions. I like to have a post-breakfast call with my Mom and a late night call with my besties, aside from that, I go out and enjoy my city. If I am really craving interaction, I will call someone important to me while on a walk. This way, you are not wasting the potential of what could be.
Find a Routine
As a self-proclaimed Type A personality, the biggest way I fought loneliness in a naturally overwhelming city was by creating and maintaining, a basic routine. Days in London were never boring and are hardly ever the same, so having a few small tasks that I could depend on every day made me more comfortable than I realized. Mundane things like my daily walk, my gym routine, where I get my post-workout smoothie… I took this stencil and drew it into my every move and it is now my recipe to settling in new places.
Find Your “Spot”
Having a “spot” (other than your apartment), can really help your city feel like home. I call this “finding your own central park”. There’s a sense of security in having a go-to place in town to escape the stresses of everyday life. Try and find a local coffee shop, bar, or bakery that reflects the character of your city. Order their most popular dish, people watch, and invite your friends to join you so you can make your own sitcom-worthy memories.
ALLOW IT
Allow the emotions, the ups, the downs, and allow the reinvention. A new city could mean a new you, or even new interests, hobbies, or friends, and that is okay! Never feel guilty for becoming an evolved version of you and enjoy 🤍
Thanks for reading and feel free to email or DM me if you ever have any questions 🤍
